Christmas Eve 2023 to New Year's Day, 2024. Dear Megan.

Christmas Eve, December 2023

Dear Megan,

 

It almost broke my heart for us to hang up yesterday afternoon.  I saw you there and heard you talk about all the things you were planning for the house, for the family and for yourself.  Then your family came back from a walk with Anton and his sister Jen--and you were overwhelmed by questions and stories the children had to tell and requests for food and attention.

I missed the hours that you used to spend talking to me as you did art homework at CCAD. Especially now, I remember that you had done a pencil sketch of yourself sitting on the floor of your room in front of a mirror.  It was a little off and you were asked to do it again because the teacher knew that you could sketch and present a piece of art that looked like a photograph.  I also remember, as I sit here on Christmas eve, how worried you were because one of the teachers used your assignment to show the other students how their drawings should have looked—and you felt proud that he used it this way.  I was so impressed at how concerned you were about your feelings of pride—while I only thought of how wonderful you were (and still are.)

After Church on Christmas Eve day.  I think this is the only time I have ever worn the jacket I got for Megan to wear to Prom her Junior year.  It came from Talbots and I'm sure she didn't like it at all.  I've held on to it all these years and I hope I will wear it again.

The earrings were a birthday gift I asked for from Nathan and Brent a long time ago.  They were in the gift shop of some museum.  I've worn them a few times.  

Christmas Day 2023

 

Nathan had to go to work this morning—on holidays that the Sanctuary is closed everyone comes in and gets the animals fed and their enclosures quickly cleaned. They started at 6 and were done by 8 this morning.  He got a shower and changed clothes before I got up.  

 

Our Christmas morning was very different from those that occupy my memory.  

Usually there is a lot of noise and squeals and torn paper . . . there are moments of quiet as freshly open presents are inspected.  In a flash the morning is over and the afternoon is occupied with preparations for Christmas dinner.  

 

Today everything is quiet.  There are few surprises, but mostly everyone knows before hand what the gift boxes contain.  

This Christmas, there was one exception: 

Years ago, Nathan found a set of square mouthed cups at a thrift store that he fell in love with.  One by one they broke--and I was able to find replacements, but they were badly packed and arrived as a crumble of white and brown ceramic.  While looking on-line a few months ago, I found someone who made square mouthed cups and bought 4 of them.  The artist put NAH on the bottom of each cup. When he opened that present, he was really surprised and pleased.

I started to cook dinner for us (Prime Rib, baked potatoes, Brussel sprouts, biscuits)--but your dad has already begun dinner with a bowl of bananas with whip cream. Now he’s on to organic, non—gluten, generic Pringles. 

 

26 December 2023

 

I am trying to get ready to put 2024 on everything.  As I sit here and write, I am listening to Alma 60-61.  I love these two chapters because of Pahoran’s soft answer to Moroni’s angry demands for support and accusations of neglect.  It seems that the two of them were both on the Lord’s errand, but from opposing perspectives.  With Brent and I are talking, disagreeing (so I thought) with each other—it turns out we are both saying the same thing, but from different perspectives.  The realization that we are both saying the same thing, but in different words, we laugh and go on to other things.  I don’t know it other couples start arguing, but actually are saying the same thing, and can’t see the other’s way of thinking.  

 

It amazes me that the Nephites will stop fighting and let the Lamanites leave in peace—on the strength of a promise that the Lamanites will never come against them again.  The righteous believe the best of even their enemies—even when the covenant of peace has been broken again and again.

 

27 December 2023

 

Good morning! Today’s Wednesday and so I go in to do meal preparation for the animals at Busch. For some reason, even though I went to bed last night before midnight I am awake at 6:30 a.m. Today’s weather will flip between cold and humid and hot and humid. Doesn’t seem like much of a variety.  Your dad has this whole week off. I think I’m going to go early to get my work done so that I can get back and be with him while he works in his Blacksmith shop.

 

I got to meet our next-door neighbors yesterday. Apparently, their grandson received a kind of Whirlyball and it got away from them on the wind. I actually have one myself. If you throw them correctly, they come right back to you—they work a little bit better, or at least more dependably, if you are throwing them where there isn’t a breeze. 

 

I think the cat has finally discovered the bird. I moved the cage so that when the cleaners came, they would be sure to wash that part of the floor, and forgot to move him back when they left.  There is not really any problem with this, though.  I guess the cat has a memory as undependable as mine.  Since Chee is so small and quiet, Fern hasn’t even shown any interest in her—even when she calls out her sad, warbling “Chee-eee-eee” that starts high and runs down the scale until it disappears.  

Saturday, December 30, 2023

Today I took a long nap.  We went to try shooting Nathan’s new gun (that he got for Christmas) this morning, but everyone else had the same idea and so the shooting range was full to over-flowing.  Nathan doesn’t like being in places with a lot of people and so he decided that we’d come back later.  

New Years Eve

Sunday, 31 December 2023

Brent has been working on a rocket stove all year. He presented it to me and Nathan and it's finished form on Christmas Day. I decided that I wanted to have roasted marshmallows and that the rocket stove would be perfect place to roast them on.

As usual Brent and Nathan got everything ready for me, and I brought out the marshmallows. I was the only one who wanted any, but they stood around and fiddled with the fire in the stove while I toasted and devoured 4 very large, fluffy marshmallows.

These gourds and pumpkins that you see around me, are leftover from all of the ones that were donated to Busch Wildlife Sanctuary over the holidays. In the end, they have so many that they throw some of them away or the employees take some home. Nathan has been using them to test his spares and very sharp axes that he has been collecting this year.

 

Monday, 1 January 2024

 

Tonight we went on a walk together. It has become a daily tradition for all of us.  It used to be just your dad.  Then Nathan noticed that sometimes he didn’t go out for his walk.  After a few evenings of Nathan reminding dad to go for a walk, all three of us get done with Scriptures and prayers we put shoes on, go to the bathroom and move around the block.  It is a sweet time for us together every evening before Nate goes to bed. 

One last picture for New Year's Day. Chi got away from me while I was giving her clean water and some food. Your dad got up to help me find her, and she finally got caught nestled between the wall and a stack of pictures and a cupboard where Nathan keeps his Nintendo games.

She is so tiny, and I have not been making much of an effort to tame her. When I hold her, I can feel her little heart trembling. I want so much for her to be more like Earl and love the freedom and the company that I can give her. I guess that's something I can work on this next year.

I love you, Megan.  Happy new year.