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| Me at 54 years old. June 2013. |
Now for the good news: I've been working on a photography project all afternoon. I am so excited about this process. Every year the college puts out a new printing of Landscape Plants for South Florida: A Manual for Gardeners, Landscapers and Homeowners. Even after the third edition, there are still some entries that don't have photograph/s to illustrate the plant description. My excellent adventure this semester is to find the blank spaces and find the plants--take photographs of them--and submit them to Dr. Rogers to put in the next edition. I have already gotten a dozen that I'm really proud of. I am getting to the point where my preference is to bring (part of) the plant home with me and not have to worry about wind, sun, reflections off of puddles or building windows--or rain. I have a light box, but haven't put it up yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah . . . just get it done, right? Then it will be even easier to get good images . . . something to work on tomorrow.
Some of you know that I have had the lower joint in my left thumb removed and replaced by harvested tendon. On the 13th of June, Dr. Acosta is going to do the same for my right thumb. Knowing that, I am doing everything I can do now that requires two hands--like set up a light box (duh...) and put my camera on a tripod. I play the piano and type with two hands rather than use the Dragon program--which actually does a pretty good job for me. I am picking up the bunnies and cutting up oranges and holding books as I read them and moving the potted plants on my patio around to different corners of the lanai. I already have given up writing--I can sign my name without using my thumb--don't think that I could get any readable script out of it very easily. I am driving the car and getting myself dressed and brushing my teeth and braiding my hair. There is the country song "Live Like You Were Dying" running through the back of my head--and I am glad that it is one that I like because having a song you hate haunt you all week is a real nuisance.
It is my birthday this week. Thank you all who sent good wishes through email and Facebook. It is nice to know that you are thinking of me. As my present, I asked the family not to turn on the TV all week, to have kneeling family prayers every night, do scripture study, and assigned everyone a night to take care of dinner. The scripture study has been kind of minimal some nights--but Brent took over Family Home Evening and we actually had a real lesson. It was wonderful.
No TV was to be my only present (we are really trying to get rid of stuff we don't need, like, have room for), but Brent surprised me with an incredible new lens for my Nikon 300. It does 1:1 for portraits and it will be perfect for the flowers and plants that I'm working with on this new project for school.
When people ask me what I am "up to," I talk about Lauren and Meg and Nate and Brent--and then I add that I am working on a PhD in Horticultural Photography. Some people just say something like "Oh, that's nice." and then ask if I like the rain we've been having. Others look at me strangely and ask "Is there such a thing as that?" Of course there is! If someone can think of it, it can be done!
Well, at least if I can think of it, it can be done. I have Brent to offer me encouragement and suggestions and resources (yes, one of those is money--the other, most important one, is TIME)--and I know that this will sound soppy to those who do not think of the Lord as their partner (it comes with the promises I gave and received in the temple)--Heavenly Father and my Savior are also always looking out for me.
Brent had to suffer with me as I learned that I could have EVERYTHING and do ANYTHING--just not ALL AT ONCE. I have also come to understand that I have to have a goal--some thing that I am working toward. If I don't know what I want, how will I know when I have gotten it?
I may never finish a PhD (but if I were betting money on it, I'd put down more than $100 thatI will.), but I know that I want one. If it is in Horticultural Photography--great! Math--great! English--Great! Learning Theory--great! Perhaps I'll do all of them. I also want to have a close relationship with Brent and be a good friend and counselor to my children and grandchildren. I want to stay thin and athletic-ish. I want to sing and to play the piano and to laugh and to pray so that He hears me and knows I am listening. I would like to ride a horse again--bones permitting. Someday I would like to be free of manic depression. I would like my hands and feet and back to be strong and not to hurt. I want to speak Spanish well enough that people don't look at me as if they are trying not to pat me on the head to offer sympathy because I am doing such a poor job. I would like to be able to walk around our property and know the latin names of all of the trees and plants. I would like not to be tired or to get sinus infections or trip over things and bruise my shins . . . OK, there are some things that I know won't happen, things that I know I won't get, things that I know I won't be able to do--until later. But when I they happen, when I get them, when I do them . . . I will know that each of these goals has been achieved because I have wanted them, worked toward them, thought of them.
I love the path that leads me around each day--and I don't really care if I actually do get a PhD in anything or ride a horse again--but I know that I want to move toward those things . . . they will come slowly, with lots of other things also happening along the way.
Wow. I am really sinking deep into my self tonight.
If you are still reading--have stayed with me through this whole load of words--thank you. This is the sign of a true friend.
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